Sometimes I have a lot of ideas about what I could write on my blog, but the words just don’t come. The ideas sound good in theory, but sitting down and writing them is a different matter.

Words won’t formulate as I want them to, or they run off on a completely different tangent of their own. Which can be cool too, but not when you’re trying to focus on the matter at hand.

Before I had a blog of my own, I’d read what others had written on their blogs and occasionally think to myself ‘that looks pretty easy to do’. I will now, right before your very eyes, eat those words.

At times it is far from easy.

I’ve previously stated that I write here primarily for myself. I still stand by that statement, however it is easy for self doubt to creep in now and again. It is hard to come up with something new to say day after day, week after week. It’s even harder to find something ‘interesting’ to say (which is an objective term I know).

I can read something I’ve posted here and think ‘How boring does that sound?’ or ‘What was the point in that exactly?’. I do sometimes worry that what I write is complete bollocks. I think that’s when my writing will dry up, when I lack confidence.

The worry doesn’t generally last too long however before I say ‘Fuck it, I’ll just write whatever is on my mind’. But I do continually strive to improve. Even if said improvement never takes place, I will always be striving.

A more long lasting confidence drop is in my creative writing. I used to write a lot of poetry, regardless of whether it was good or bad, meaningful or not. Then a few years ago depression hit me and my writing never really recovered from that. Inspiration and confidence both disappeared.

It’s about time I got them back.